Monday, January 25, 2010

You HATE Atlanta? Well fuck you buddy!

Every once and a while I make the mistake of reading some inane posts about why people hate Atlanta (ex. this douche, these fuckers, and these douche fuckers). I was reading this bad boy, and as a native Atlantan unforseeably imbued with hometown pride, I decided to respond.

1) "Traffic sucks in this place!"

Admit it, you live in the burbs. If you lived in the city this would not be your biggest complaint.

When people complain about "traffic" they mean expressway traffic. When they say Atlanta, they mean 50 miles in every direction. Gwinnett is not Atlanta. Alpharetta is not Atlanta. Duluth, Marietta, Dunwoody, Sandy Springs, Smyrna, Norcross, Snellville are not Atlanta. To every person who complains about the traffic and lives in any of these areas, congratulations. All of you are the creators of the problem complaining about the problem.

If you are so incensed about gridlock, start speaking up and advocating commuter rails. Or move intown and figure out other ways to get around.



2) "There are too many 'Peachtrees'..."

You're an idiot.

3) "Wasn't that a restaurant last month...?"

You're complaining about business turnover? Like you randomly passed some furniture store in Cobb County and now it's a Denny's? Big fucking deal guy! Do you actually care about these places?

Support local businesses! Try your best to get to know someone who works at a store or restaurant you like or at least become enough of a part of the community to know why a business closed.



4) "No one here is even from Atlanta..."
I have no idea why this came up in a search for "atlantans".

That's just not true. If we are to use the broad definition of Atlanta to include the suburbs, most of the population is local. And even if that were not the case, what city in the U.S. is completely local?

Where? Bangor, Maine? Sweet! Of course I won't move there since I'm NOT FROM BANGOR.

5) "Everything is too spread out."
This is true. However, if you eliminate the 'burbs then we're merely discussing the limits of MARTA.

First of all, MARTA sucks. Second of all I've never seen any of you on it.

It's very easy to say that "MARTA goes nowhere" when you don't try to use it. All the complaints I hear about our public transit come from people who do not even try to use the system. I've been asking people for the last couple of months about how the lines changed names and how service has been ridiculously scaled back, and all I've gotten is blank stares. Because we don't use it (and by we I mean the entire middle class) we don't know specifically what's wrong with it. MARTA is a neglected puppy. If we ignore it, it will probably die. If we nurture it, we can teach it tricks.

There's plenty wrong with this city not only with some basic aspects of its infrastructure, but also things like our cultural apathy, our love of retail and restaurant chains (Eat Fresh!), and the massive racial divide. But the kinds of complaints I referred to earlier come from a very specific populous and I just can't stand this suburban attitude about the whole thing.

All of us who live in the city need to know why we do, embrace and extol the virtues of why we do, and work against, not complain about, the things we do not love.

- Jimmy James, Native Son

24 comments:

Jasen said...

From a fellow native Atlanta, I agree. Folks make all the wrong complaints about Atlanta, and, more importantly, are completely oblivious to the fact that a lot of Atlanta's problems have to do with the State of Georgia, which neither revenue shares nor provides any support for transit. The state's regional planning and natural resource management, or lack thereof, are the big problems that keep Atlanta a great city instead becoming the AWESOME city it could be. Fuck Atlanta? No, FUCK Georgia.

Glue and Glitter said...

I loved this post!

MARTA actually goes lots of places, it's just a matter of prioritizing and not being afraid to walk a little bit.

jdhatl said...

Highly recommended reading:
http://www.amazon.com/White-Flight-Conservatism-Politics-Twentieth/dp/0691133867/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1264468112&sr=8-1

R said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
R said...

Ehhh, I DO use MARTA and it does suck. Takes way too long, costs too much, doesn't go enough places, and has a kinda shitty rider culture too. (Mainly talking about trains with the last one -- but mostly take the bus now.)

That said, I don't blame "Atlanta" for that, I blame (a) the state lege and (b) suburban folks who DO (contrary to protests) use the outer reaches of the city's public transit yet refuse to pay a dime for it and (c) douchebags who complain about it but don't advocate for it.

So I guess you're >half right. But MARTA still sucks, sadly.

MelanieB.Pierce said...

Not only was this perfect in every way as far as logically addressing the constant Atlanta put-downs we hear- but I really love it when I get to read out loud "fuck you buddy"- always makes me laugh. Tickles the old funny bone.
As far as those band wagoners, well... Those type folks never really have good things to say in general so who cares what they have to say anyway. It does get annoying after awhile though-
I prefer to look at the bright side of this city- The fact that I live here and thrive here is a plus- so I can't be anything but grateful.
I do miss the old landmark swanky places that we used to have here- but guess we will just have to make a new scene- in hopes to give some of that Southern hospitality to the new transplants.
Other than that- haters can keep there comments to themselves - we know better. :)

tomitron said...

native ATLian here too---excellent post! our biggest problem is georgia---

Roxie said...

The one complaint (besides the one about MARTA) that drives me batshit is "There's nothing to do here!"--said by the person who's never ever heard of Creative Loafing

RDizzle404 said...

Well said, James. I too complain about Marta but at the same time take every opportunity to use it. (C'mon Beltline!!!)

MannDubin said...

Yo homie- from one native Atlantan to another (and the author of whyihateatlanta.blogspot.com), just thought I'd holler. Your shit's hilarious, but I hope that you'll check out our other site at whyiloveatlanta.blogspot.com. We love the A, but f**k me in the a** if there's not a lot of stuff here that could be better...and worse.

One love,
MannDubinBlog

MannDubin said...

www.MannDubinBlog.com, douche.

MannDubin said...

You started it. Let's finish it.

-MannDubinBlog

籃球 said...

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MannDubin said...

went by your gallery the other day. the sign said open so i started knockin, but wasn't nobody home.

takin the war out of the blogosphere and into the streets.

www.MannDubinBlog.com

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